Article by Gordy Hoffman

After cracking hundreds of screenplays sent into the BlueCat Screenplay Competition, the same problems in the execution of the story and script continue to emerge. Here is a general overview of these persistent issues.

Do you realize what you’re saying??In the theatre, they read plays aloud over and over in the process of script development, and one of the reasons they do this is to hear the dialogue. When I hear dialogue in my head, it might sound very good, but then when I hear a person actually speak it, I often have an impulse to jump in front of a bus. And over and over and over and over, when I read screenplay entries to BlueCat, I am immediately dismayed when the characters start speaking. Excellent everything else, awful dialogue. And I often wonder if the writer has actually heard the lines they have written for their characters out loud. Either read the whole thing aloud to yourself, or even better, get a group of your friends to read it. You do not need professional actors to evaluate dialogue. Just people excited to help. Videotape it. I have videotaped readings, and then sat down and worked out an entire rewrite off the tape, addressing every single line that bothered me. Which leads me to another thing.

Ha.It’s hard to pass a screenplay on to industry contacts if an unfunny joke is sitting in the middle of page two. It’s highly difficult if there’s twelve by page five. You might have a payoff in your third act that would break my heart, but if your jokes are poor, the heart of your audience will be shot, probably resentful, and your work will be recycled. Please try your humor out. If your beats aren’t funny to some people, rewrite. Trust a truly hilarious bit is coming. Think of the patience you need to muster through this writing process as courage, because it is.

If you find you are not funny, write a script that is not funny. Many, many great scripts are not funny, as we all know.

Mispellings.Do you think the development people in Los Angeles, basically the smartest people in the film industry, will not be annoyed and continue to read your script when you have misspelled three words in the first five pages? Perhaps. How do you feel when you’re reading something and you find misspelled words? How does your attitude shift towards the author? Exactly. If you don’t think many scripts have this problem, start a screenwriting competition.

OKAY, WE GOT IT!Try to limit your scene description. When a person opens your script, how many INCHES of action slug are they looking at on page one? Is there anyway you can convey what you want us to SEE with less words? I always go back and CUT CUT CUT to prevent my screenplay from fatiguing my reader with excess words as they try to listen for my story. Do we need to know what necklace someone is wearing? We all understand making motion pictures is collaborative. I strive to let the art department and the costumer and the prop master and so on DO THEIR JOB by not making their decisions in the screenplay, because I have little passion for it and don’t do it well. They will make their own choices, and most likely better ones, so why bother? Always use fewer words to say the same thing.

It’s not show and tell, it’s show not tell.I constantly find myself being told something by the screenplay the viewer of the film will not be aware of. Screenplays are not literature. They are words assembled to describe what motion pictures will play out on the screen. Telling us a character is a jealous person is passive and dull. Showing a character in an act of jealousy is more effective and essentially cinematic. Let the words and actions of your characters carry your story. This is not easy. You want the actor or director to understand what you want and what you mean. Allow the description of physical actions and the recording of spoken words reveal the narrative to the filmmakers. The script will read faster and offers the reader a richer opportunity to imagine and discover.

The Joy of Making Things Up.I really cherish the idea, that as a writer, I can make things up. If I want the guy to say something, all I have to do is type it. But I have to fight against creating characters and interactions amongst characters derived from movies I have watched and television I have seen. I often find myself writing a scene only to realize I’m not drawing from my imagination or my own life experience or my observations of people, I’m drawing from the millions of hours of observing actors play human beings on television and in movie theaters. And because I’m writing a “MOVIE,” it is even more difficult, because I’m fighting against a subconscious or unconscious observation that this is “how people act in movies.” Stop yourself and ask, would this happen on planet Earth? Do I know how people from Miami really speak? What would a person actually say if they had a gun in their face? Can you possibly imagine what could happen? This is your opportunity to be truly imaginative. Answer your own expectations of original work. A mature writer develops a strong capacity to recognize and reject the false.

Ouch.Forced exposition. This is when a brother tells a sister on page two that he will be attending a school which dad wouldn’t pay for because he bought a farm that the whole family will be moving to tomorrow because he found that the city was a really bad place to live in after mom was really scared because of that mugging thing that happened after they came back from the sister’s graduation from high school. When characters engage in an unbelievable conversation about matters in which they would be familiar with, or when they proclaim something completely out of nowhere simply to inform the audience of key facts crucial to their understanding of the movie, you have a problem. This awkward exposition will not be seen as genuine human behavior and will detach your audience from the emotional current of your story. Exposition is necessary and difficult to execute. Be careful how you offer information crucial to your story at the start of your screenplay. This is a common problem in early drafts. Exposition needs to be seamless and graceful.

Format.You know what? Go get a script and copy what you think it looks like and you’ll be fine. Trust me. Spec scripts are sitting on desks all over Hollywood and their format is not consistent at all. Getting crazy about format sells screenwriting software. I use two tab settings and copied stuff from a book and not one person in the film industry has ever said a thing to me in ten years. But if your script looks like a book, or a poem, or a magazine article, your screenplay format is wrong. Just make it look a little like a movie script, and if it kicks ass, guess what.

So do you.

Article URL address: www.bluecatscreenplay.com/About/advice.php About the AuthorWinner of the Waldo Salt Screenwriting Award at Sundance Film Festival for LOVE LIZA, Gordy Hoffman has wrote and directed three digital shorts for Fox Searchlight. Made his feature directorial debut with his script, A COAT OF SNOW,world premiering at 2005 Locarno Intl Film Festival. Also founder of BlueCat Screenplay Competition, which provides written screenplay analysis on every entry.Gordy acts as a script consultant for screenwriters, offering personalized feedback, http://www.screenplaynotes.com.

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Article by Don Macnab-Stark

The Three Most Common Screenplay Mistakes

When you send your screenplay off to someone to read, you want to make a good impression – producers and readers see hundreds of scripts, so it’s vital that yours is looked at favourably right from the outset.

However, before you even get to the quality of your story, there are three common mistakes that screenwriters often make, each of which is guaranteed to immediately put a reader’s guard up. It is vital to ensure that this doesn’t happen with your script, because once people start to form a negative impression of someone or something, it takes a huge amount to change their view.

In other words, if you are making any (or all) of these basic screenplay mistakes, your script is going to have to be exceptional in every other way if people are to look past your mistakes.

So before you send your screenplay to anyone, make sure that the basics are in place. That means ensuring that you have paid extra careful attention to:

Spelling and Grammar: I know this sounds obvious, but you would be amazed how many scripts are sent out that have poor spelling or dodgy grammar. You have to check and double-check your spelling and grammar – think about it, almost by default, anyone that you send a script to (production company, analyst, etc) is likely to be someone with a love of words. Abusing the English language will immediately give them a negative feeling about your work.

Format: There are no ifs and buts here – you have to get the format right. Poorly or incorrectly formatted scripts drive readers crazy. By far the easiest way to avoid formatting problems is to use screenwriting software like Final Draft or Movie Magic Screenwriter. If you can’t afford either of those, you can try using free software like CeltX, or even set up Word to format your writing properly. But whichever route you take, make sure your script is properly formatted. Poor formatting is the mark of an amateur.

Length: Size matters! Too many spec scripts are over length, which is another huge turn-off for readers. Why? Put yourself in their position – would you rather read the tightly written 110-page script or the loose and fuzzy 150-page script? The bottom line is that your script should be between 90 and 120 pages – any shorter than that and it’s not really a feature film, any longer and it suggests that you don’t have control of your craft – it’s your job as a screenwriter to write a script within those parameters.

Are there exceptions to this? Of course – Peter Jackson’s King Kong script runs around 163 pages. But until you have directed a trilogy of movies that have grossed over two billion dollars you need to stick to the rules!

These are the absolute basics, the things you have to get right every time you write and send out a spec script. Think of them like strikes in baseball – each of them is one step closer to striking out. Three strikes and you’re out!

Are you a great writer? I have no idea. But I do know that if you don’t pay attention to the basics, no one will ever read your scripts all the way through.

By making sure that your spelling and grammar, your layout, and your script length are all on the money, you are giving yourself the best chance possible that people will read your scripts with an open mind – and as an unproduced screenwriter that’s a good place to start.

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Article by Scott Morgan

WRITING FOR ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS

As the Academy Awards approach, many people are curious how screenwriters make it, what goes on a page, and who makes a script better. There are so many questions I can only describe some real life situations, and also add some facts in film history. Working for years as a Screenwriter for Hire, and also as a Spec Script writer, my stories are sometimes wild, sometimes sad, but always entertaining and informative.

I’ve mentioned in other blogs how rare it is to find Producers that know how to improve a script nowadays. This was mandatory a few decades ago. I think that the digital age and expansion of film schools allowed more Producers to rush ahead to production. In my mind, hey, it’s great that they get to produce a film. But steps along the way – steps learning the elements of better storytelling – are often skipped. That is why you hear so many bizarre comments in studio meetings about rewrites on your scripts. Here you are a writer that toiled away at writing s solid story, and suddenly a Producer asks if you can make the death of the midget drowning in the toilet more glorious for midgets (this is an actual note from Warner Brothers on a comedy assassin movie.)

I have been lucky enough to work with several Academy Award winners. I would be either a Screenwriter for Hire or I would have written a script they wanted to set up.

Here is a list of the infamous Producers or Directors I worked with, learned from, or set up projects with:

Freddie Fields: GloryJerome Hellman: Midnight CowboyJohn Badham: Saturday Night FeverBarry London: Head of Paramount/Titanic, Forrest Gump, Braveheart, Top GunCort/Madden: Mr. Holland’s OpusAlbert Magnoli: Purple Rain (early guidance in film making/writing)Sydney Pollack: Tootsie, Out of Africa, countless others (seminar mentoring)Tony Scott: Top Gun, Man on Fire, Unstoppable, A-Team, countless others.

Joel Silver (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, etc.) didn’t really do script improvement or mentor/advise me in any way. Though he is a big name.

My experiences with the big days of New Line were interesting, and I learned a lot.

But the three most influential are Freddie Fields/Jerome Hellman, and Barry London. John Marsh at Tri-Star was fantastic at showing me how to improve a script. As was Justin Dardess. I’ll concentrate on Fields, Hellman, and London, since I credit them with advancing my talents far beyond most writers, especially when it comes to Marketing, Funding, and Distribution savvy.

Freddie Fields. Wow, what a legend. I met him through Cary Selig, a fantastic female producer. She was a D-Girl for him before moving to create Bel-Air Pictures (Collateral Damage, Message in a Bottle, The Replacements, Pay It Forward, and more.)

Freddie Fields was the Producer or Executive Producer on: American Gigolo, Looking for Mr. Goodbar, Poltergeist, American Anthem, Glory, Milennium, Fever Pitch, Crimes of the Heart, andVictory. But before that – get this – he was one of the heads of ICM (then called CMA) and was credited as instrumental in the careers of Judy Garland, Woody Allen, Henry Fonda, Marilyn Monroe, Robert Redford, Peter Sellers, Steve McQueen, and married a Miss Universe. He set up Butch Cassidy and the Sundance KKid, American Graffiti, and Star Wars.

And I was mentored by him for a year. Unbelievable. I learned more than I could ever put into a blog – about the energy and the deal making behind closed doors. (Only Barry London taught me more.) Here is how it all happened.

Keri is a stunning brunette with a perfect body, the type you would imagine came to L.A. to be a star. But she was only interested in production. I met her out at a bar, through friends, and she gave me her number for business. We met a few times for drinks, then sort of vanished from each-other’s lives.

I started writing an action script called Hard Knox. It is the story of the stealing of the gold out of Fort Knox during a tornado. The tornado ends up being the bad guy. It had some unique plot twists in it. I knew it was a hot idea. I was on page 80 when I ran into her and she told me she moved to Fields/Hellman. I went in for a talk, and she had me pitch her three ideas. Since Hard Knox was not finished, I pitched that one last, but she knew this was the one. She asked me for a sneak copy. I went home and touched up what I had written and, unfinished, delivered it to her.

In the meantime, I had met a small time Producer that had a film deal at I think Millenium Pictures, plus an open door at some studios. He needed a screenwriter for hire. I don’t even remember his name for sure but think it was Jacque. I only remember his attitude toward the film he was directing in a month. It was a million film, shooting in Vancouver. He called it shit, a waste of time, etc., and something that he wanted to do and flush in the toilet but he needed the money. I felt so sorry for the actors. The story and writing was very watered-down and anemic. He had read Blood, Sweat, and Gold after a lawyer told him I was the best undiscovered (cheap and willing to do ghost writing is how he saw it) writer in Hollywood. He wanted me to do a ghost writing fix on his dream project for a few thousand dollars, so I took it. I was working on that at the same time as Hard Knox, but had not told him about it.

She wasn’t even finished with it when she called me and said, ‘My boss wants to meet you.” At that time, I did not know who the legendary Freddie Fields was, or what would happen to me if he did a film for/with me.

I walked into his office and there was this 70 year young man, Freddie. We had a fairly formal meeting. He talked about his accomplishments, and was generally seeing me as who I was – a na

Article by Sam Tinky

Learning how to write a screenplay is not the same as writing an article for your local newspaper or even like writing a normal fiction book. While many of the same skills are required, things must be done in a particular way or your screenplay will never see the light of day. Here are some tips and tricks, as well as a recommendation on how to get started, so you can begin writing your screenplay today.

A screenplay is built as much as it is written. The parts are written and then put together to form a completed project. The first thing to decide is what genre your movie will fall into. Then you develop your concept and build conflict into it. Movies are driven by conflicts in one way or another. A movie without a conflict will not be able to hold an audiences attention for very long. Once you have your concept and conflict you will build your characters to fit within the story. Next you build scenes from intro to conclusion and create dialogue within the scenes for your characters.

There are particular formats that you have to follow. Often you will only have one shot with a producer so you need to make sure your production is not thrown out just because you didn’t format it correctly. The margins, dialogue and page numbering has to fit certain criteria. That is why most people follow the advice in the next paragraph. It takes care of everything in the formatting department for you, so all you have to do is concentrate on writing the best story that you can.

Probably the best thing you can do, especially if this is your first attempt, is find a good software package that can guide you through the entire process. There are many software packages available, from free to very expensive so make sure you read exactly what each one offers. If you don’t need the one with the most bells and whistles then there is no need to pay the extra money for the top of the line. You can use the money you save to market your finished script.

The final piece of advice I can offer is don’t wait to get started. If you want to write a movie then get started today. There is no profit in procrastination. It doesn’t even matter if your first one isn’t very good. You will get better as you write more, and you can always go back and fix things that you don’t like when you edit your finished product.

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